Into the crock pot it went on a Saturday afternoon, and by the end of the day my house smelled warm, smokey, and delicious.  And then the not so pleasant part came – I had bought a bone-in cut of meat, not the boneless variety that the recipe called for.  So I spent a good half an hour with a fork in each hand, tearing the pork to bits, memories of the past week’s kettlebell workouts screaming in my forearms.  In other words, don’t be like me.  Buy boneless.

Mark’s Crispy Carnitas
Adapted from this recipe

Large boneless (3-4 pounds) or bone-in (6-8 pounds) pork shoulder
1 tbsp Salt
2 tsp Cumin
2 tsp Chili powder
2 tsp garlic powder
1 Cinnamon Stick
1 Bay Leaf
6 Garlic Cloves, halved
2 Yellow Onions, sliced

• Combine the salt, cumin, chili powder, and garlic powder.  Rub half of the mixture all over the meat; reserve the other half.
• Place the meat in your slow cooker and top with the cinnamon stick, bay leaf, garlic cloves, and onions.  Pour in ¾ cup water and cover.
• Cook on high for 3-4 hours or until tender and the fat has released from the meat.
• Using two forks and a bit of fortitude, shred the pork into bite sized pieces, and toss the shredded pork with the remaining seasoning.  (If making ahead of time or saving for leftovers, stop and refrigerate here.)
• On a cookie sheet, toss the pork with some of the fat from your slow cooker.  Bake in a 350 degree oven for 10-20 minutes or until as crispy as you’d like.

I served this with a big ol’ pile of pico de gallo and some guacamole.  Delicious!  And it only looked slightly odd when I packed that same awesome combo for lunch the next day.

My husband warmed up some corn tortillas and made them into tacos.  And for leftovers one day, he tossed in some barbecue sauce and ate it as pulled pork.  The three step process of slow cooking, shredding, and baking may take some time, but you’ll be rewarded with a big pile of savory goodness to last you the week.

But then these past few weeks I’ve been slipping a lot diet-wise.  There has been a lot of ice cream, a few binge eating sessions, too much Nutella, a renewed love affair with cheese, and a whole lot of grains.

I made this recipe this weekend. And then I drank frozen margaritas, ate half the loaf, and felt disgusting the next morning.

So it should come as no surprise when I report that my allergies and congestion level are on overdrive, my clothes are getting a little too snug, and I’m not enjoying my workouts quite as much.  Surprise, surprise.  So instead of waiting until mid-February, I’m going to do a little Whole 14.  Why 14?  Because I leave for San Francisco on February 4^th and will dive into a week of meetings where every meal and snack and waking moment has been pre-planned.

Are there ways around this?  Sure.  I could falsely claim to have all sorts of food intolerances (which I haven’t claimed in previous years) in the hopes of getting grain-free, dairy-free, sweetener-free, oil-free meals.  I could make the 1.5 mile roundtrip walk to Whole Foods on my lunch break since their hours are the same as my meetings and group dinners.  Or I could starve myself, throwing all unnecessary brain function out the window as I attempt to lean out a-la Tom Hanks in Cast Away.

Deserted island living – so paleo!

Yeah, I’m not that crazy.  I’ll be maneuvering the buffet lines and making the best choices I can.  Luckily, a coworker who is in the midst of her third Whole30 will be with  me and we can both encourage and judge each other for any good or bad choices we make.

And with the whole idea that an object in motion stays in motion, I’m going into that week of meetings on good footing.  Whole14 here I go.

Preparing for your company’s annual meeting.
Doing both your old job and your new job at the same time.
Making presentations to big wigs.
Scheduling meetings for two different continents.
Fitting in workouts.
Not giving into stress eating demons.
Keeping your pets alive.
Keeping your husband fed (with real food).
Having clean underwear every day.
Sleeping enough to avoid this flu thing that’s going around.

All     at     the     same     damn     time.

Life is a bit hectic right now so I have been neglecting you, lovely blog lurkers.  But it’s not because I don’t love you.  I’m just busy prioritizing that list above your needs (a girl has to have clean underwear).

But  I will give you some randomness.  My work gym plays an awful lot of Nickelback.  I can understand – I’m sure they’re pumping in some generic musak station from somewhere.  But why is the Nickelback always on when I don’t have my headphones in?  When I’m signing in, when I’m getting dressed, when I’m in the shower.  It’s like those Canadian bastards know and they’re trying to get me.

This has nothing at all to do with this post, but I felt I needed a picture.

Also in the world of randomness, I hit a new PR on my strict overhead press!  During today’s 5/3/1 workout, I did 10 reps at 70 pounds all super strict and with super good form.  Six months ago I couldn’t do one at that weight, and my previous record was one measly struggling one at 85.  I’m excited to see how I do going heavier in my next cycle.  I followed these up with drop sets of a side raise, going all the way down to the 3 pound weights at my gym.  Picture yourself in front of the mirror straining to raise 3 pound peach dumbbells.  A humbling moment.

This was me.

My new-mom friend came to the gym with me at lunch today which meant I got to make inappropriate jokes about farts and pelvic thrusting.  Gym buddies don’t always have to push you to do more – sometimes they can just be comic relief.

I also just realized I have not been in my office bathroom once today.  I think that’s a sign that I need to drink more water.  TMI, I am probably dehydrated.  I’m gonna go take care of that.

But also hoping that the newbies haven’t given up so soon.  Get back in there!

So there’s a new man at the gym who looks just like Grandpa Munster.  Just like him!

Grandpa rode on a bike for a few minutes before switching to the leg extension machine.  The machine that was right behind me as I was running on the treadmill so I could see him in the mirror in front of me.  Any endearing thoughts that were going through my mind as I thought about the Grandpa Munster character were relatively short lived.  I realized that between sets he wasn’t just staring off into space – he was staring directly at my backside.  Intense, creepy stares.  A few leg extensions, 2 minutes of ogling, a few leg extensions, 2 minutes of ogling, and so on.  Eww.

Monday’s Workout
(tight pants optional)
½ mile high incline walk
1 mile flat run
3 x 3 Standing Overhead Press (w/warmup and deload sets)
1 mile flat run
½ mile high incline walk

I feel like I’m using a lot of Italics here.

Zesty Chicken Slaw
Makes 2 servings

8 oz Chicken Breast
1 tsp Seasoning*
1 bag Coleslaw Veggies (typically shredded cabbage and carrots)
1 tbsp Red Wine Vinegar
1 tbsp Dijon Mustard
Juice from ½ a Lime
1 tsp Chili Powder
¼ tsp Ground Ginger

*I use my favorite bottled seasoning mix that is mainly salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, and cayenne pepper.

• Slice chicken breasts into thin strips and season.
• Heat a large non-stick skillet over medium-high heat.  Add the chicken and cook 3-4 minutes per side, depending on how large your pieces are, until cooked through.
• Reduce the heat to medium and add the coleslaw mix to the skillet.  Drizzle in vinegar and immediately cover, allowing the veggies to steam slightly.
• After 4-5 minutes (shorter if you like your cabbage crunchy, longer if you like it more wilted), remove the lid and add in the mustard, lime juice, chili powder, and ginger.  Toss to combine and ensure the mixture is heated through.

Enjoy!

This is super easy, super fast, and cooks all in one pan.  And it’s super low-cal and filled with veggies!  Keep in mind that if you were to microwave the leftovers, the cabbage will wilt further and smell more like sauerkraut.  Which is great, if you’re into that sort of thing, but I’m not – I like it crunchy!  I cook mine on the shorter side and then eat any leftovers at room temperature.

And then I had a run in with a newcomer.  Based on how sweaty and winded he was from his slow paced recumbent bike ride, I’m assuming he was relatively out of shape.  From the myriad of crunch variations he ran through, I’m assuming he wasn’t quite sure what he was doing there.  And from his boastful and machismo tone, I’m assuming he was trying to impress me.

I had finished my main sets and was doing a deload set of deadlifts when he more or less asked if he could work in.

“Wow I really love deadlifts.  You can leave the weight on the bar – I think I’m going to do some.  Deadlifts are good, good stuff.  Yeah, I really like doing these.  So good for you.”

Chest all puffed up and everything.  It could have been adorable, but given the full space and that I had never seen him there before it was just annoying.

I then had the displeasure of watching this man struggle through some sort of barbell complex.  There were some deadlifts, a few push presses, a few back squats, and more deadlifts.  The whole time his feet were unstable, his knees were going in the wrong directions, and his face turned into a bright red tomato.  I didn’t know whether to look away or be ready to catch the weight when he hurt himself.  It was a monstrosity.  And it was with my deload weight.

He set the bar down, huffed and puffed some more banter about the awesomeness of deadlifts, and sat hunched over on a bench to catch his breath.  I had picked up where I left off, bent over to change the plates, when he sat up tall and said in his smoothest voice, “Let me know if you need help getting those weights off.”  I laughed – oh my goodness, I laughed right in his face!  I thought it was an insult or maybe a joke.  As if I would need mister big not-so-strong man to help me remove the weights that I can lift easily.  “That’s okay, I think I’ll manage.”  Then I realized he was serious and I kind of felt bad.  Whoops, sorry!

I hope he keeps coming back to the gym, but I also hope he figures out what he’s doing.